Friday, April 30, 2010

Of Spiders.

having recently shown my girlfriend the classic lon cheney flick; "spiderbaby," the other night i noticed that a daddy long legs spider had set up shop in a corner of my room. i know a lot of people are freaked out by spiders and as a matter of fact, my mother used to scold me for killing spiders. it was not until much later on that i realized their importance.
anyway, daddy long legs eat other spiders, mosquitoes and other general insect pests so the spider stays.

but this does remind me of an interesting story....

the year is 2001 and i am blazing on acid. me and adam bothomley are running around the campus in storrs connecticut and i'm about to walk a mile home. it's dark and swirls of color dance in front of my face as i make my way to the apartment that i share with my girlfriend and her hippie rock climbing roomate. i silently slip through the door, as it is 3 in the morning and creep into the kitchen to maybe get into some of the indian food that i had cooked earlier, and i flick on the light. as i unwittingly open the refrigerator and spoon some vegetable jal frazee into a bowl, eight eyes are watching me.
as i press play on the microwave and turn around, i'm startled to see a wolf spider larger than a silver dollar just standing in front of me on the floor. not moving. in my lsd-induced state i still had the common sense to think; "gee, that spider is way too big to be in the house." as the microwave went "ding," i grabbed a newspaper and went for the fucker. it ran underneath the kitchen table. i swatted and it disappeared.
i should have heeded the words of my mama, because a second later it CHARGED AT ME. and i was TRIPPING.
i stifled a scream and literally jumped on a chair as the spider reared it's front legs towards me. my drug-addled mind raced as i tried to think what to do- it could easily climb up here, and it was in an ass kicking mood! i tried to drop the newspaper on it. it ran back under the table. as i cautiously climbed down from my perch, i looked everywhere for the intruder but could not find him. i forgot about my late night snack and made my way to my bed, but i swear i slept with my third eye open the whole night. well, morning. the next day i opened the back door to find the largest funneled web i'd ever seen. i left it alone.